i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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