Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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