i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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