now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
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I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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