I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize