We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
did i just pee glitter
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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