apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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