were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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