OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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