Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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