cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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