We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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