and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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