your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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