I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
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also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
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I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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