allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize