like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You made out with two different species that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
They have beer where we have blood.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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