can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize