Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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