Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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