I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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