His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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