I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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