Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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