I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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