Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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