I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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