I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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