so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize