I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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