her facebook's as public as her vagina
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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