Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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