I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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