We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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