If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize