SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize