AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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