so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
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We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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