he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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