I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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