You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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