Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
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Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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