my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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