My sheets look like a crime scene.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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