alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize