We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
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