Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize