I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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