If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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