dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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